“We need winds and tempests to exercise our faith, to tear off the rotten branches of self-reliance, and to root us more firmly in Christ.”

–Charles Spurgeon , from April 29th “Morning and Evening” devotional

If you’re not familiar with this devotional book, I highly recommend it. You can read it here every day or you can also order it from the same site if you’d like to have your own copy.

God stir the soil,
Run the ploughshare deep,
Cut the furrows round and round,
Overturn the hard, dry ground,
Spare no strength nor toil
Even though I weep.
In the loose, fresh-mangled earth
Sow new seed.
Free of withered vine and weed
Bring fair flowers to birth.

–Anonymous

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art,
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart.
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets, supplies its every need,
And surrounds me with its blessings;
Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ‘neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting,
Fill me with Thy grace.

I’ll say right off the bat that I have delved into self-pity. At one point in my life, I wallowed in it, though I didn’t think so at the time. Over the course of four years my husband and I experienced some very difficult circumstances with the births of our children. Our daughter was born with a rare chromosomal abnormality that wreaked havoc on her body, causing her death two days later. I will honor the request of our other children not to write specifically about them, but will say that they have suffered much. When children suffer, their parents suffer, and we did/do.

With each circumstance came an unavoidable agony. Now we knew what C.S. Lewis meant when he referred to God as the great vivisectionist. Three times over, and still counting. Would He never close up the wound, but just leave it gaping so He could get in there again and again to restart the hemorrhage?

There is much that could be written about that period of our lives, but my point here is self-pity. I learned that although the pain we felt was absolutely part of the experience, our response to it was the critical issue. To continue to delve into self-pity with an attitude of legitimacy was not only harmful to our family’s well-being, it was even more harmful to my soul. I needed to rethink my theology of suffering, come to a better understanding of who God is, what He was doing, and who I am in light of that.

Simply put, (but not at all simply experienced) the path to peace was found through repentance and in knowing, truly knowing this: God does all things for our good and His glory. It is impossible to respond to an ongoing agony in a godly way unless my hope rests firmly in that truth.

Oswald Chambers challenges me: “Our circumstances are the means God uses to exhibit just how wonderfully perfect and extraordinarily pure His Son is. Discovering a new way of manifesting the Son of God should make our heart beat with renewed excitement. It is one thing to choose adversity, and quite another to enter into adversity through the orchestrating of our circumstances by God’s sovereignty. And if God puts you into adversity, He is adequately sufficient to “supply all your need.”

2 Cor. 9:8 has given me courage for a number of years. “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” That is very good news to me; something I can hang my hat on.

The “all things at all times” leaves me no wiggle room for self-pity. His grace abounds even when I am at my wit’s end and slammed against what feels like a steel wall. When my focus is on manifesting the Son of God rather than on our difficult circumstances, God will use those times in whatever way He chooses for our good–now and in heaven, and His glory–now and in heaven. And that, folks, is real joy.

Praise, my soul, the King of heaven,
To His feet thy tribute bring;
Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,
Evermore His praises sing;
Alleluia! Alleluia! Praise the everlasting King.

Praise Him for His grace and favor
To our fathers in distress;
Praise Him, still the same as ever,
Slow to chide and swift to bless;
Alleluia! Alleluia! Glorious in His faithfulness.

Frail as summer’s flower we flourish,
Blows the wind and it is gone;
But, while mortals rise and perish,
God endures unchanging on;
Alleluia! Alleluia! Praise the high eternal one.

Angels in the height, adore Him;
Ye behold Him face to face;
Saints triumphant, bow before Him,
Gathered in from every race;
Alleluia! Alleluia! Praise with us the God of grace.

-Henry F. Lyle

Anyone who stumbles onto this blog is immediately aware that I am a complete novice in the blog world. I’m learning by reading lots of blogs; getting a sense of some of the reasons people blog. And thinking about why I want to get into it myself, and whether I want to continue.

It seems to me that the main reason people blog is to have impact. Whether their blog is primarily used for venting, educating, resourcing, friendship or sharing all sorts of topics or things, it all comes down to the purpose of influencing others.

So I’ve been thinking. As a follower of Christ, what is/should be the ultimate purpose of whatever I put on my blog? How does that relate to how I want to be personally perceived by those who may, by some remote happening, read it? For me, writing in a public way is a big responsibility. Maybe that’s because I have seldom done it. Maybe someday I will read this and think I was taking this all too seriously, but right now I think it’s important. The thought of my words being ‘out there’ startles me a bit. Influence, even though it may well be slight, is serious business. Especially because I want all that I do and say to glorify God and serve his purpose. “We make it our aim…to be well pleasing to Him” 2 Cor. 5:9. If that’s not the deal, I most certainly should click ‘delete this blog’ right now.

Oswald Chambers says, “My worth to God publicly is measured by what I really am in my private life.” He reminds me that whatever I write and whatever is perceived and impacts others stems from who I really am in the mundane grind of everyday life. Sweet water doesn’t flow from a sour well. It renews my aim to please God moment by moment in all that that means, and through that he might use what I write publicly for his glory.

Teach me, my God and King,
In all things Thee to see,
And what I do in anything,
To do it as for Thee.

-George Herbert
1593-1633

We have had some late-afternoon crashing, booming, cracking, thunderous storms the past couple of days. I love it! They brought with them that rare Colorado commodity, rain. Very, very welcome. Our yellow lab, Libby, hates thunderstorms. She cowers, moves from place to place with each loud crack, flash or boom, and wants to be near one of us. I have a lap quilt I made about 25 years ago that I keep at hand. It’s faded and worn, but it’s one of my favorite things. She thinks it’s hers and she snatches it from me if it puddles off my lap onto the floor. So during the storm she scooched it away from me, settled down, and went to sleep. She was comforted.

I sat on our sofa watching the storm. Feeling the storm. Huge swords of lightning flashed through the sky. The thunder shook everything. Our home is made of logs that are ten inches thick. Some of the log support beams are even larger. It took several men and a crane to put them in place. The weight of our home is massive. Solid. Immovable. We found out when we were having the foundation dug that the land where we were building is solid rock underneath. They had to dynamite rather than dig. You get the picture. Our house isn’t going anywhere. Yet as I sat on the sofa during the storm, I could feel the whole thing tremble.

While I was lying in bed thinking about all that, a line from one of my favorite hymns came to me: on Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand. And I remembered the parable of Jesus (Matthew 7:24): “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Our home is solidly built upon solid rock. But it is not perfectly built, and has already been penetrated by various country creatures that have found holes, cracks and crevices that allow them to enter. When we see them or signs that they are hiding somewhere, we immediately take measures to get rid of them and seal their place of entry. They are entirely, entirely I say, unwelcome! To allow them to remain would be unthinkable. The fact that our house is solidly built upon rock and stands firm doesn’t mean we don’t have to be vigilant in tending to it.

Which leads my mind back to the words of the hymn, and the application to my life. On Christ, the solid Rock I stand. He is immovable and in him I stand firm. Solid. Secure. But I must give diligent attention to the cracks and crevices; passageways?, that allow the cares, worries, attractions–sins–that enter and pollute. I must allow the flashlight of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to seek out the telltale signs of an enemy within. Then take measures to rid them and seal their place of entry. To allow them to remain would be unthinkable.

Oh, God, let me not be content to entertain the sins that so easily pollute me like they are just an annoyance rather than an enemy out to destroy me. Make me pure within, and seal me with the truth of your Word.

THE SOLID ROCK—written by Edward Mote

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood, support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound, oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

From an old book that I love: “There are three necessary prayers and they have three words each. They are these, ‘Lord have mercy. Thee I adore. Into Thy hands.’ Not difficult to remember. If in times of distress you hold to these you will do well.” The Scent of Water–Elizabeth Goudge.

I read this passage several years ago and found the words to be wonderful. The simplicity of the prayers does not diminish the meaning of the heart-cries held in them of repentence, adoration, and trusting commitment to God. When one is going through an agony there is often a numbed mind and a loss for words. (I know this to be utterly true!) These, then, hold us in good stead.
Practice them, keep them ready; for in so doing, you will do well.