Will I surrender to Jesus Christ, placing no conditions whatsoever as to how the brokenness will come? I must be broken from my own understanding of myself. When I reach that point, immediately the reality of the supernatural identification with Jesus Christ takes place. And the witness of the Spirit of God is unmistakable–”I have been crucified with Christ…” The passion of Christianity comes from deliberately signing away my own rights and becoming a bondservant of Jesus Christ. Until I do that, I will not begin to be a saint. ~ Oswald Chambers

I have to admit that I have conditions in mind as to how my brokenness should come. They usually come into serious conflict with the methods God actually chooses to use. I really believe I understand myself, what I need, what makes sense. Being a real commonsense person, it feels like being slammed against a wall when something happens that brings me to a standstill and to my way of thinking, makes no sense whatsoever.

Chambers’ statement, “I must be broken from my own understanding of myself” catches me and holds me captive. God knows me far better than I know myself. As I read through the Gospels, I’m struck with the shocking disparity between who Jesus is and who I am and the amount of work that yet needs to be done to make me like Him. I would be hopeless beyond words had I been left to the impossibility of bringing about that change myself, yet I realize that is precisely what I try to do in assuming I know what circumstances God should not use to accomplish that change. Deliberately signing over my rights, as Chambers often says, really does serve to align my will with His, giving freedom to live purposefully and contentedly in whatever comes, however difficult it is. Jesus’ obedience to the Father is to be our point of reference. When it’s been mine, I’ve found that, like Job, I have to put my hand over my mouth.